RATZILLA IS AMONGST YOU!

RAZTILLA COMES TO BRADFORD

It was the summer when the national media were to descend on Bradford, reporting of fear on the streets, with residents scared to leave their houses No I’m not writing about the English Defence League’s tedious little strop around the city centre at he beginning of the month, but the shocking story of rodents of a different variety-the super-rats which were allegedly plaguing the Ravenscliffe Estate, or to give them their official tabloid name…RATZILLAS!!

Yes on what must have been a quiet news day at the Sun, the paper led with a story of how MONSTER 2 ½ FEET RATS (the Sun sure like putting words into capitals FOR NO REASON!) were roaming around the Ravenscliffe, even appearing in the houses of locals. Indeed, some residents had claimed to have seen a giant rat in their lounge, though allegations Piers Morgan was on the TV at the time could not be confirmed.

According to the Sun, these super rats were said to have come from South America, disappointing England manager Fabio Capello, who had hoped to call up the rats to replace Frank Lampard.

The article explained how local resident Brandon Goddard and his friends shot one of the super rats after arming themselves with a shotgun and baseball bats and going ratting, proof that they are one neighbourhood watch group you wouldn’t like to get into an argument with! As proof of the capture of the RATZILLA, a blurry photo was provided which in truth could have easily been a cat! However, the Sun accompanied this picture with the caption ‘rat in me kitchen’, showing that in 2010 it’s never too late for a UB40 related pun, despite the fortunate disappearance of Ali Campbell and co from our airwaves about 15 years ago.

Yet before you decide to pack your bags and head away from the city of Bradford, for fear of having your late night kebab stolen by a 6ft monster rat, doubts were soon to be cast on the validity of these super rats. Indeed Dennis Shipway, head of pest control at Bradford Council was extremely sceptical, suggesting that no reports of any larger than normal rodents had been made to the council, followed by a number of denials from local residents about ever seeing a giant rat. This appeared to suggest that the Sun’s exclusive should perhaps not be taken so much with a pinch of salt but more with a whole salt mine! The best quote was from a local resident who said that the Sun must have got mixed up between Ravenscliffe and nearby Ravensthorpe-suggesting that if in doubt, blame it on Dewsbury!