Lights, Camera, Action!! (and public spending cuts)

This month has seen the news that the three main party leaders, Gordon Brown, David Cameron and Nick Clegg will be appearing in three separate debates, to be broadcast live on Sky, ITV and the BBC, a first for a British General Election campaign. However far from it being an anything goes debate, an agreement has been signed with more clauses than a Father Christmas convention-76 in total which dictates on everything from handshakes between the leaders to the length of time of answers and closing statements, through to the make up of the audience, which apparently is to be carefully selected, but not known to the leaders. Indeed, the audience will not be allowed to applaud or jeer throughout the broadcasts, although knowing how much the British public love a good pantomime this clause may be hard to adhere to.

So who are the winners in all this? Certainly not the smaller political parties, with the SNP and Plaid Cymru leading the outcry. Their major complaint focuses on the “unfair treatment of Welsh and Scottish license fee payers who are being denied the opportunity by the public broadcaster to hear from their respective national parties in these set-piece leaders’ debates.” Additionally, it could be argued that the prospect of a hung parliament could see their views more important than ever if they were to from a government. However, whether the average voter in Cleckheaton would really be interested in the views of the SNP is another matter. The BBC have promised to allow the smaller parties to have the right to respond to the debates, which would again raise the possibility of Nick Griffin being back on the BBC, although this is a debate for another time.

Moreover it would appear that the big winner in all this is Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg, a man who would seemingly struggle for recognition in his own house, indeed a recent politics class I taught at Craven College saw a group of 20 students collectively fail to recognise Clegg, with the majority of the students indentifying him as Seb Coe. Still at least it wasn’t Steve Cram, the one time athlete now turned BBC Sport presenter, with presenting skills more wooden than the Black Forest. Yet if Clegg can perform as well as Coe did in his Olympic hey-days, then the Liberal Democrats could benefit from these debates.

Furthermore Gordon Brown, fresh from his interview with Piers Morgan could also benefit from the chance of a debate with his fellow party leaders. Recent opinion polls have shown the Conservative lead to be dropping to around 5%, and a strong showing from Brown could tilt the balance in his party’s favour. The Morgan interview was perhaps a new strategy by the Labour party to put the PM on shows alongside people even more loathed by the British public, therefore making him more likeable - expect appearances on TV with Michael Winner, Anthony Worrall-Thompson and John Terry anytime soon. However, if Brown were to have a repeat of this supposed sensitive caring side, then the Labour Party could be laughing all the way to a fourth term in power.

And what of the Conservatives, a few months ago a Tory victory seemed as certain as Portsmouth’s chances of relegation, yet now it appears uncertainty is creeping into the Conservative campaign, with insiders worrying about whether they have their strategy spot on. Cameron has so far avoided wearing a baseball cap with his name on it, or embarking on a one man super-hero mission to save the pound (see Hague, William), but there are worries over Cameron’s air brushed billboard posters and rumours of disagreements between Cameron and Shadow Chancellor George Osborne over spending cuts. However, the TV debate could consolidate the lead of the Conservatives. Indeed Cameron’s performance against David Davies in the televised debate for the Conservative leadership was said to have played a great role in his success. Certainly Cameron would appear to be the most natural in dealing with the TV environment than possibly Clegg or Brown.

The big question in all this is whether the public will actually care, as mentioned earlier, Sky, the BBC and ITV all get the chance to broadcast a debate, and my general feeling is that the public may be bored of it all by the time of the third debate. Is this then the beginning of a new era for politics, indeed why stop at TV debates? Maybe now is the time to introduce reality TV to the election, what better way to decide our next Prime Minister than an X-factor final with Nick Clegg sweeping to power on the back of a powerful rendition of R Kelly’s ‘I believe I can fly’. Or maybe even Ant and Dec live from the jungle in Australia hosting ‘I’m a politician get me out of here’! Personally I would love to see them go head to head in a Celebrity Masterchef final for the right to be PM. I could think of no better judges to choose our next Prime Minister than “ingredients expert” (greengrocer) Gregg Wallace and Chef John Torode. I could just see Gordon Brown storming back into number 10 on the back of a mean Chocolate soufflé!